In the back of my head, I can still hear Mercedes singing.
I can still feel the warm embrace of Pedro’s hugs.
I can still smell Sister Annie’s famous arroz con pollo.
I can still see the sadness on Juan’s face when he told us
his story.
Almost eight months later and Ecuador is still very much
alive.
In my mind. In my heart. In my words. In my actions.
I still get chills every time I think about it.
And at some moments, all I can do is cry because I miss it
so much.
That is the power of Ecuador.
That is the beauty of Ecuador.
It changes your life forever.
I am grateful that this year I have an opportunity to return
to Ecuador. It will be a different experience – being a “veteran” – but I am
nonetheless excited for the adventure. Another trip means another week with
beloved Sister Annie, another round of singing with the women, another game of
dominoes with the men, another stay at Tangara… so much wonderful familiarity.
But at the same time, despite familiar faces and familiar places, the shock of
witnessing such extreme destitution and suffering will never fade. I know my
heart will break over and over again – as it did last year – until it feels
like there is nothing left to break.
Lizzie and I with our
buddy León, a patient at Damien House
Sometimes I wonder why.
Why do I want to return to Ecuador?
Well, simply said, Ecuador changed my life. As a result of
the trip, I am stronger, braver, more thoughtful, more intentional, more
simplistic, more grateful, more inspired… and most importantly, happier –
happier than I have ever been in my life. There is something magical about that
beautiful country… and I think it’s the people.
The people are magical. Although they might be materialistically poor,
the Ecuadoreans are rich in
spirituality – perhaps the richest people I have ever met. I can’t help but
feel overwhelmed by love and compassion when I am around them. And the best
part is, the feeling is mutual. We share our love with each other – it is the
most beautiful, life-giving relationship. The Ecuadoreans, through their
selfless actions, devout faith, and immense gratitude, have taught me more than
any book ever could. They see us, the volunteers, as an extraordinary gift from
God, but I see them as the truly
extraordinary gift. In simple ways, they showed me the meaning of life and what
is really important.
With Sister Annie, the
foundress of Damien House
You see, while I was in Ecuador, I never realized how much
of an impact these people would have on my life – and it such a short amount of
time. It was only after taking a step back and looking at things in retrospect
that I discovered their true influence. I think about Abel and Pedro and Esther
and Wellington every day. I think about their struggles, their sorrows, and
their joys. And I think of the all the wonderful little moments we shared. And
sometimes I can’t decide if I should cry or I should smile. Cry because I miss
them so much my heart hurts or smile because I was blessed to get to know such
amazing people. How can I ever repay someone who changed my life? I want to
return to Ecuador to express my
immense gratitude for these people and remind them how much they are loved and
cherished.
When it comes to what I want to get out of this return
mission trip… I would say it is three main things. One, I hope to once again
see the face of Christ in everyone I meet. Last July was the first time I
experienced that tingling feeling inside my heart, thinking, “Wow, I just saw
the face of God today.” In Ecuador, God’s presence seemed so alive and
apparent. I saw His face in the sad and the weary, but also in the happy and
the innocent. I loved how seeing God in His people had the power to take my breath
away.
Second, I hope to become even stronger, more courageous, and
more faithful. We as humans are constantly growing and changing, and I hope to
continue to grow into a more loving person who trusts the Lord at all times. I
crave an even stronger relationship with God. I also hope to more clearly
discern God’s calling for me – what he wants me to do now in high school, soon
in college, and later in the future. I
believe that when you travel to different places, you learn about yourself. You
discover your passions, what you want, what makes you happy, and what doesn’t.
Finally, I want to learn and recognize new things. I want to
notice the little things that I missed that first time, the things I missed
because I was partially consumed by fear. I know that during those first few
days, (at times) I was not fully focused on living in the moment. I was
worrying (irrationally) about being bitten by a mosquito or drinking unclean
water. It was not until the third or fourth day, when I set aside my fears, that
I truly lived in the moment and
experienced an incredible peace. I know that a second experience in Ecuador will
not be as raw and fresh as the first time, but that’s okay. It will be a different experience, but an awesome
one – I can look at things in a new light.
Lizzie and I with our
friend Abel
There’s a saying, “Yo dejé mi corazón en Ecuador” (I left my heart
in Ecuador) – and it couldn’t be truer.
I am beyond
ecstatic to return with such a beautiful group of young people.
Paz y
amor,
Talia
(Jane)
Simply said, I feel like I am the best version of myself
when I am there. Something about being outside of your comfort zone and
embracing a world so different from your own really brings out your true character. The people love you
simply for being you. They don’t
judge or criticize, only love and give thanks. They choose to see the good in
you instead of focusing on any flaws. They love in that moment, exactly as you
are, unconditionally. I remember at our despedida (goodbye) party we offered words
of gratitude to the Damien House patients, and I said that they taught me to
love with an open heart.
